Backwaters

When I first removed this book from its postage bag, after it had taken a three day cross-country journey, the first thing I noticed was the cover. The gentle blues and pinks combined with the light graph-paper sketch are absolutely stunning, and almost serene. I am still unsure how it relates to the book, even after reading, but it is the sort of thing you like having on your shelf because it's so pretty. While beautiful, the cover is a stark contrast to the confrontational story to come. This book challenges the very way you view the world, and pushes you to truly discover who you are. In fact, this is a book about self-discovery in so many different areas of life that anyone can find a way to relate.

Our main character, Laura, has struggled with finding herself for a while. She is a writer, but doesn't know what she wants to write. She is bisexual, and struggles to find the right person for her. She is vegetarian, and strangely eats all manner of meat-containing dishes over the course of the book. But most importantly, she never knows how to answer the inevitable question: 'Where are you from from?' In the light of a concealed adoption, her racial identity is thrown into yet more turmoil, but she has decided it is time to understand who she is.

For her debut novel, Ling Sidnam's voice is powerful and fresh. I thoroughly enjoyed her writing style. Her straight-forward tone shines through and confronts difficult issues, and if I'm being honest, this challenged me as a reader. The main thread that runs through this book is about the narrator facing systemic racism within herself, and within the world around her. At times, this led to generalisations along the lines of 'white people don't get it'. And I see that, we don't. However, as a white reader, there were moments where this was frustrating, and I felt disconnected from Laura’s journey. Nevertheless, Ling Sidnam did exactly what she meant to do, and exactly what any thought-provoking book is meant to do: challenge people's minds.

My favourite part of the book by far was the section set in Hong Kong. I have been to Hong Kong, and the way it was brought to life was a very accurate representation of what it is like there. The descriptions were so vivid, evoking a realistic picture: '[Hong Kong is] a living city. Everybody is going somewhere, doing something. Nobody is hanging around, enjoying the sunlight. It's a rising city, an ambitious city.' In fact, I almost wished it was a bigger part of the plot, though there were so many major events in this book that I can see how that would be difficult.

Unfortunately, I found that the book lacked momentum for the first two thirds almost. By lacking momentum, I mean in terms of character growth. There was a lot of space for all the characters to grow, and it seems like they were set up for that to happen. But instead, I don't think they came out the other side of the story as different people. I don't think I came out the other side of the story as a different person. While the book challenged me, instead of growing with the characters I was left feeling a bit lost.

Additionally, I found that the book lacked a little bit of forward motion. Maybe I should have expected this, and maybe it is the point of the book in a way. But it could have used a little more driving force behind the plot. If Ling Sidnam's powerful literary voice was combined with more driving force in the plot I think her next novel could be truly spectacular. The parts of the book that were about Laura's ancestors were much more highly developed, and I really enjoyed those parts. According to the acknowledgements, Ling Sidnam almost removed them, but I am very glad she did not.

To conclude, this book had a lot of potential. I'm sure there are a lot of people out there for whom it fulfilled that potential, but unfortunately I cannot call myself one of them. If you enjoy fiction that feels like a biography, if you want a look into someone else's life even when that life is a little lacking in direction, then this book will resonate with you more than it did with me. Content warning though, there is some non-explicit intimacy, so I would say 15+. If introspective storytelling is something you enjoy, then buckle up and dive into someone else's reality.

- Nell is 16, homeschooled, and lives in Dunedin